Alien bible found…and translated

I came across an interesting article located here: Alien Bible Translated. Once again, total nonsense at its best. Fortunately, it comes from a “fake” news website. I find it reassuring as it looks totally fake and that’s the purpose of the website. The real danger is that I realized people are actually believing this, without even checking where the news was coming from. Here’s a summary of the article:

WEEKLY World News sources have confirmed that a professor at Webster University — the birthplace of the world-famous English dictionary — is in possession of a book that was printed on another world. What’s more, the thick volume isn’t a cookbook.

“It’s an alien bible,” said 41- year-old linguistics professor, Dr. Emmanuel Johnson, whose skill with foreign languages has earned him the nickname “Magic.” “And wait till you hear who their god is!”

Back in his library, Dr. Johnson opened the container.

“Being whacked against the foreman’s head had loosened the top,” Dr. Johnson said. “It popped right off. I began to wonder if, in fact, that was how the aliens opened containers on their world. If so, they must have suffered brain damage over time.”

Inside, Dr. Johnson found a small, thick book. The cover illustration showed a constellation that bore the unmistakable likeness of Oprah Winfrey. Stunned, he opened the book, which consisted of multicolored, cloth-like materials. The writing glowed when the professor looked at it.

“It was an illuminated manuscript,” Dr. Johnson explained. “I was immediately able to translate the title, which is called Their Eyes Are Watching Me. The book was comprised of two sections: A Sacred Alien Testament: Written and a Sacred Alien Testament: Oral.”

“The Oral Testament actually speaks to the reader,” Dr. Johnson revealed. “Naturally, it talks in the authoritative but reassuring voice of Oprah.

“It begins with a section called ‘Syndication,’ which encourages aliens to do good deeds on other worlds, including the Earth,” Dr. Johnson continued. “We suspect that the alien visitors who owned this bible were missionaries, members of Oprah’s ‘The Angel Connection.’ It instructs acolytes on the basics of worship, including the use of something called ‘the remote.’

Please, we really have to stop that kind of things as it makes every UFO believer lose credibility. I know it’s fake news, but people are sadly actually believing this. I know it’s a small majority of people, but that’s too much.

I particularily enjoyed: “The cover illustration showed a constellation that bore the unmistakable likeness of Oprah Winfrey.”

Anyway, I thought it was a funny article, but unfortunately, some people believe it.